Re-Balance of Power
by stevebond1990
Summary: Rimmer always wanted to succeed, but always set himself up to fail, because of his family and life experiences. What if he met someone who forced him to look at himself, to see himself as he is and could be, not what others saw him as. What if they convinced him to follow His dreams, not some failed Military wannabe's.


Re-balance of Power

Prologue:

Red Dwarf – February 29th, 2181

"LISTER, TURN THAT JUNK OFF!"

The scouse technician frowned at his bunkmate, "Rimmer, why are you bothering? You've failed every time you've attempted the Engineering exam."

"I TRY, Lister," the Jovian native growled back, "Because I am determined to better myself! As you so eloquently pointed out, Technician is the lowest rank on this Ship. I am not content to spend the rest of my life being looked down upon by everyone I work with; I'm tired of being the butt of jokes when someone screws up. For Just ONCE in my Life, I want to Achieve Something Worthwhile, Something to be Proud Of!"

Lister scoffed, "Great job you're doing so far, Rimmer. You've failed that exam so many times JMC is considering competency tests for all new recruits. For Smeg's sake Rimmer, try something else, you proved nine times you haven't got it in you to be an Offic…"

SMACK!

What happened next was so fast; Lister had to have Holly play the security feed, back to him. Rimmer had jumped up, drawn his fist back then shot it forward into Lister's face, breaking the liverpuddlian's nose with a crunch and sent his head back to rebound off the bulkhead, by the team Lister's vision focused, Rimmer was gone.

* * *

'How Dare He?' he fumed silently, striding down the corridors and stairs with no conscious care for his destination, 'How Dare that Rectum faced, pregnant baboon bellied, burned out astro beatnik say that!'

'But what if he's right?' a small traitorous voice said from the back of his mind, 'What if you really haven't got what it takes to be an Officer? Or at least an Engineering or Astronavigation Officer?'

He stopped and leaned into an alcove, "What if the git's right?" he muttered.

"What if who's right?" a soft, feminine Irish voice asked.

Rimmer jumped at the voice just behind him, tripping on one of the steam pipes and having to grab hold of a vertical pipe to stay upright.

"Dani? God, don't startle me like that," he said as he recognise the petite brunette employed as the Ship's equivalent of a Chief Librarian.

"Talking to yourself is the first sign of madness," Danielle Harper replied, smiling.

Rimmer mock-glared but sighed and hauled himself up, he could never stay mad at her.

"What happened?" she asked gently, shifting the books in her arms to a more comfortable position.

Rimmer opened his mouth but sighed and looked down in shame, "I got mad and hit Lister, probably left him with a concussion."

"Arnold?" he just shook his head, refusing to meet her gaze.

"I just… I was trying to revise and he went off about my history with the test… about… he said I should try something else as I don't have it in me to pass," he admitted.

Danielle just watched her boyfriend for a moment, "I… I wondered the same thing, you have the drive when your heart is in your work, you might want to be an Engineering Officer for… for us, but in your heart it's not what you _want_," she said carefully.

"But I _need_ to pass," Rimmer tried weakly.

"Why?" Danielle asked, "It's not to impress me. I've come to love you for who you are, not who you were or want to be."

Rimmer looked at her for the first time in several minutes, 'why did he try to pass an exam he didn't really want to?'

"I guess… I guess it's because it's a part of the façade," he admitted, "I've been hiding how much I've changed since we first met, I've just gotten used to going through the motions. I mean, everyone expects me to be the same smeghead they've always known, if I suddenly change… I mean, Lister wouldn't believe I don't want a Command of my own someday, he wouldn't accept I'd be happy on a Flight Deck… not to mention everyone else…"

"Maybe asking you to pretend you were the same was a bad idea," Danielle said after a moment.

"Maybe hiding our relationship was a bad idea," Rimmer countered, "But I don't regret a moment of it."

Danielle smiled at him, "Arnold, why don't you just sign up for the exam you _really_ want to take? No one has to know until after the fact. Then we can both come clean."

Rimmer smiled warmly at her, "Have I told I Love You, today?" he asked, stepping up to her and wrapping his arms around her waist.

"Not yet," She replied coyly.

"I Love You Danielle, Thank you," he said as he leaned down to kiss her, she reciprocated passionately.

"Go on, sign up for the right exam," Danielle said when they parted, adjusting her glasses and checking the braid running down her back to her bum, "I can't wait to be able to snog you senseless in the Refectory."

"I'll hold you to that Miss Harper," Rimmer teased, giving her a quick hug then heading back toward his quarters, glancing back to wave to her before he turned a corner.

* * *

"Rimmer?"

Rimmer stopped as he turned into the corridor leading to his and Lister's quarters, Todhunter was walking out of the room and had looked around, before spotting him and heading over.

"Yes sir?" Rimmer replied, saluting briefly.

Todhunter stopped short, apparently surprised _Rimmer_ has used the correct salute, rather than the ridiculous one he made up, "Rimmer, I've just seen Lister in the Med-lab."

"Yes, sir, I…" Rimmer started, he sighed, "I lost my temper, Lister was playing his guitar along to Rasta Billy Skank, I told him to pack it in, then he made a few pointed statements that got under my skin… I just lost it."

Todhunter seemed to be appraising him, "This just isn't like you Rimmer," he said in both surprise and disappointment, "Lister's having to go through surgery in order to get the bone splinters out of the cartilage so his nose can heal properly."

"I take full responsibility, Sir," Rimmer replied, his voice thick with guilt rather than the usual pomposity.

Todhunter still gave him that odd look, "Are you alright Rimmer, you don't seem to be yourself?"

Rimmer stared at Todhunter, then seemed to make a decision, "Can we speak in private, Sir?"

Todhunter nodded, "In your quarters?"

Rimmer nodded and gestured for Todhunter to go first, following the man into the room, "Lock!" he stated as he passed the door.

Todhunter watched the door shut then turned back to Rimmer, "What's going on, Arnold?"

"Sir," Rimmer started as he settled onto his own bunk, then decided on the truth, "Do you remember what happened to me eight months ago?"

"You were assigned to the Central Database on temporary reassignment when all but one of the staff were quarantined on Mimas during a flu outbreak," Todhunter replied, he remembered because he'd been grateful he didn't have to deal with the man for the whole Forty days.

"While I was there, I… I guess you could say I had an epiphany," Rimmer started, "Most of my problems stem from a shitty childhood, horrific parents, no friends, and sadistic bullies for brothers."

Todhunter's jaw dropped, he'd had no idea Rimmer had psychological issues, it was the kind of thing recruits had been screened for for years, now Rimmer had mentioned these things it was glaringly obvious the man needed professional help, 'How the Hell did no one pick up on this?'

Rimmer smiled humourlessly, "I know what you're thinking, but I think it was a combination of an 'apparently' healthy background, three successful brothers and no one really giving a smeg after they met me, I was a right smeghead."

"Anyway," Rimmer continued, "I was assigned to the Database but for a long time there was just me, I was given orders by Holly, I had a lot of time to think with how alone I was."

"I started questioning who I am, why I was such a failure and why I kept setting myself up for failure. I came to the conclusion that I just wanted to fit in and due to my skewed experiences I in turn had a skewed idea of how to do so. I was trying to build myself into an image the neither existed nor deserved to exist, I started rethinking my priorities and started looking through the database to expand my interests," Rimmer explained.

"I started neglecting my duties as I searched; I even abandoned them completely in my third week as I found new interests, including a possible change of career, a career I wanted. I began a research into the historical role, hoping that way I'd understand it better that way than if I jumped into the modern equivalent's training course, it worked but when I began looking into the JMC files, the Database head found me."

Todhunter cocked an eyebrow, not much was actually known about Ms Harper by most of the crew, but common consensus was you don't mess with her domain.

"She wasn't happy with me," Rimmer admitted with an embarrassed grin, "Though she did relent a little once I finally came clean, once I was back on track with my work, she went out of her way to help me through my issues, as the moth passed, I became a very changed man," he sighed and looked at the floor then back up, "as a thank you, I offered to take her out to dinner on Ganymede, to my surprise, she accepted."

Todhunter's other eyebrow joined the first.

Rimmer laughed at his expression, "I know, I couldn't believe it. 'Untouchable' Harper deigned to dine with me. It was a wonderful night, we talked about everything and nothing, just enjoying the other's company. And when it was over, she kissed my cheek and said she was looking forward to the next date."

Todhunter's jaw dropped again.

"it was soon after I started leading a double life, once I was back on duty I pretended to be the same old me, only being myself when alone with Ms Harper," Rimmer explained.

"Ah," Todhunter said softly, "So you've _played_ the anal-retentive smeghead since?"

"Yeah," Rimmer admitted sheepishly.

"I take it you and Harper have been together since?" Todhunter asked.

"Yes, sometimes she's all that keeps me sane after dealing with Lister and a select few others," Rimmer confirmed, "and over the past eight months we've fallen in love."

"I think I understand the picture," Todhunter said after a minute, "You've played this part, partly because it's how everyone else sees you, and partly because you don't feel you can be yourself around anyone else except Harper?"

"Yes," Rimmer confirmed.

"So, that, in concert with the exam pressure and Lister deliberately smegging you off because of your performance, your temper was pushed to breaking point," Todhunter affirmed, nodding as Rimmer nodded once, "Right, I think I can smooth this over this time, but next time, try not to belt him… even if he does deserve it."

"I'll try, but not guarantees," Rimmer agreed, "He can be a right irritating git when he wants."

Todhunter nodded, "That's true."

"Sir, can you not mention my… erm, story?"

Todhunter stared at Rimmer, "alright, but it would be a good idea to slowly transition to the improved you, if at least to stop Lister deliberately smegging you off."

"Yes sir," Rimmer responded as Todhunter turned to leave, "Sir, could you put back my Astronavigation exam for three months and pencil me in for a Flight Deck exam?"

"Are you sure?" Todhunter asked.

"Yes, the career I want is as part of a Deck Gang, but I don't want to just give up on my Astronavs just yet, I actually understand most of it this time," Rimmer responded.

"Alright, I'll make the change," Todhunter replied, then walked out.

* * *

May 22nd, 2181. 10:19 ship time

"_Would the Applicants for the Astronavigation Exam please proceed to the Teaching Room. This is the third and final call, as the exam is about to start."_

"Rimmer?"

Rimmer looked up to see Todhunter standing over him.

"Good luck," he said then set down Rimmer's paper.

"Alright everyone," Todhunter said after everyone had their paper's, "You have three hours, you may begin."

* * *

Five hours later.

"Rimmer," Rimmer looked around, having waited patiently for an hour after Lunch ended for his results.

"Congratulations," Todhunter said, holding out the paper, "It was close, but you passed. Shall I see you celebrating in the bar later?"

Rimmer smiled broadly as he checked his answers, "Maybe, you may even see me dancing with a certain Database Analyst Second Class of the Female persuasion."

"Try not to overdo it, your next exam is tomorrow," Todhunter warned.

"Not Smegging Likely," Rimmer retorted, then paled, "Sir," he added apologetically.

Todhunter just smiled and walked off.

* * *

May 23rd, 2181

"Rimmer, is it true?" Rimmer sat up but fell back down as his head hit the top bunk.

"Oh smeg, what do you want?" Rimmer groaned, rubbing his temples after his eyes stopped spinning.

"Is it true you were dancing, _actually_ _dancing_, with Danielle Harper?" Lister demanded, still in the clothes (and everyone else used that term lightly) he'd worn to the club the night before, "Danielle 'Untouchable' Harper?"

"Yes you rump faced astro," Rimmer responded, checking the clock and saw it was twenty minutes before his alarm was due to go off.

"How?" Lister demanded, "How did _You_, get a date with the one women on the ship better men can't?"

"Men like you?" Rimmer shot back, "If you must know, Lister, I've known Dani for over eight months, admittedly the first month was due to a reassignment caused by everyone else on her staff being quarantined, but eventually we grew comfortable with each other."

"So she's into men like _you_?" Lister looked away, making a face.

"Don't kid yourself, gerbil cheeks," Rimmer glared, "She deserves far better than me, but for some reason, God only knows why, she cares for _me_."

Lister seemed slightly mollified at Rimmer's admission, "So how did your exam go?"

Rimmer glared briefly before disabling the alarm and getting up, "Could have been better, definitely could have been worse, but I finished this time."

"What? Lister exclaimed in surprise, "You actually finished?"

"It was bound to happen eventually, Lister," Rimmer retorted, "There's a first time for everything."

"Even you losing your virginity?" Lister replied, then winced as he realised what he'd said.

"That too, and no, not Ms Harper," Rimmer clarified as he saw Lister's eyes widen, "Yvonne Macgruder, two years ago."

"Actually, I heard about that, apparently she was concussed," Lister said, thinking aloud.

"I can't actually confirm that," Rimmer admitted sadly, "I was just glad enough one of the women aboard was actually interested in me that I missed the details."

"Damn," Lister was all he could say.

"Look, I'm going to hit the head, You should hit the shower before you hit that bunk," Rimmer said, grabbing his shower kit.

"What's wrong with me?" Lister asked, holding his arms out.

"Apart from the things growing on your socks being collected by the Science Officers for examination and possible study and categorisation of semi or fully sentient life?" Rimmer asked seriously, then looked humourlessly at Lister's reaction, "I'm serious, Bartokovsky was down here with several techs last night and hauled your laundry basket off in a Bio-Hazard bin, look around, it's not here," he walked out as Lister started looking around, smiling at the shouted "Smeg!" as he turned the corner.

* * *

"Arnold Rimmer, Technician Second Class."

Rimmer stood up as the Deck Chief called out his name, "Here, Chief!"

Chief Petty Officer Saul Tigh grunted, "At least you're punctual, I've heard stories about you, Rimmer."

"I hope to change that, Chief," Rimmer replied firmly.

"That's the attitude, follow me," Tigh replied, then led Rimmer down to the Hangar deck.

Once they arrived, Rimmer noted there were several others waiting.

"Alright," Tigh announced, "The first part of the exam is theoretical, we'll test your book knowledge in one of the side rooms, both in a multi-choice paper and a spot quiz. Then we'll test your practical knowledge, you'll be asked to perform basic maintenance to the MKI Blue Midgets. The final test is your teamwork; you'll be teamed up to turn around one of the survey craft when it returns. Any Questions?"

"Alright, Tex, Jenson, split them up for the theory."

* * *

"You look exhausted," Rimmer looked up to see Danielle walking over, obviously her shift had ended.

"I am, it's not an easy job," Rimmer replied, wiping sweat off his face with an oily rag, then smiled, "So much more rewarding though."

A voice cut off Danielle as she was about to speak, "Glad you feel that way, Rimmer."

Tigh had walked over with both a stack of papers and several deck gang overalls on his shoulder, "cause you've passed, and passed well lad, your practical knowledge is rough around the edges but a few months hands on should deal with that. Congratulations, Petty Officer Rimmer."

Rimmer took the file and overall in disbelief, slipping the former under his arm, turning the latter over until the name patch stared up at him.

_Petty Officer Third Class, Arnold J Rimmer_

"I'll speak with Todhunter shortly, in two days you'll be up here on a gang, but until then assume you're still on your old duties," Tigh added, "Dismissed, Petty Officer!"

"Aye Chief," Rimmer responded, saluting.

Tigh returned the salute and walked off.

"Come on, I feel like celebrating," Danielle said, pulling Rimmer towards the lifts.

"Let me drop these off in my locker first," Rimmer argued.

"Alright, but then you owe me one," Danielle agreed.

* * *

"_Emergency, Emergency, There's an Emergency going on!"_

"Holly, what's wrong?" Rimmer asked as he closed his locker.

"_The Drive Plates have been insufficiently repaired, they're in danger of failing any minute, an di can't Raise the Drive Room."_

"Smeg!" Rimmer looked at Danielle, who was now very pale, "Run to Auxiliary Damage Control, see if you can bring down the Radiation Shields manually, I'll warn the Captain," Danielle ran out, followed a second later by Rimmer but he turned the other way, he didn't stop running until he reached the Drive Room.

* * *

"Captain!"

Everyone in the Drive Room stopped to look at the tired Technician, except Hollister who looked annoyed, "What is it, Rimmer?" he demanded as several console operators stood up.

"Holly… Drive Plates… Mis-repaired… Failure imminent!"

"Rimmer, You Can't Do Shoddy Work On The Dive Plates!" Hollister said angrily.

"You…" Rimmer started, starting to get his breath back, "You… think it… was me? I was rotated off for an exam, it's Y shift today!"

Hollister looked taken back but a klaxon blared before he could respond, followed by an echoing explosion and a rush of energy into the room.

Rimmer held onto the centre console as Hollister and several others screamed, left to watch in horror as everyone in the room died slowly and painfully, one by one.

It took several minutes for him to die, soon it was only him and Kochanski left, his eyes never left hers as the pain climbed and the light faded from hers, the closest he could give to comfort.

All too soon, she slumped over in her chair onto her console, "I'm sorry Dave… I Love You…"

Rimmer felt his gut wrench as the light left her eyes, but his strength finally failed him as blackness crept into the edges of his vision, falling to rest beside the Captain.

"I'm sorry, Danielle…" he whispered as his vision faded, "I Failed you…"

* * *

Cold… it was cold…

There was no form, no feel, no… nothing. Just emptiness

Then there was light, bright, painful… then shapes appeared, initially formless, textureless but after what seemed like an eternity, these things gave way to an eerily familiar place.

He groaned loudly, bringing his hands to his head, cradling it as the throbbing slowly receded, "Where am I?" he wondered aloud.

"_You're in the Drive Room, Arnold."_

He literally jumped at the voice, going through the console he'd held onto desperately as he died, looking around frantically until he saw the face on the screen, "Hello?"

"_Holly, actually, Arnold," _the face replied.

"Holly?" he wondered aloud, then wondered why this… person called him Arnold.

"_Gordon Bennett!"_ the face, Holly, cursed, _"Don't tell me you don't remember?"_

"Remember?" he wondered, then it all came back.

"Aaaarrrrrgggghhh!" Rimmer screamed, the pain nearly as bad as waking up, but after a few minutes he looked up, tears streaming down his face.

"It really happened?" he asked, his voice breaking, "The leak… everyone dying?"

"_Yes Arnold,"_ Holly affirmed.

"Why?" he demanded, "Why did you bring me back? "Why couldn't you just let me die? How do you think I can exist with… What did the real me do to you, to deserve this… This Torture?""

"_One of the crew survived the radiation leak as they were sent to stasis prior to the Emergency, it is now safe to bring them out of stasis,"_ Holly explained calmly.

"Who is it?" Rimmer asked, dreading the answer.

"_Third Technician, David Lister,"_ Holly actually ducked as Rimmer threw a punch at the screen.

"Why Me? Surely Kochanski could do just as good of a job?" Rimmer demanded.

"_Because _You _are the best person to keep him sane,_" Holly insisted, "_Lister shared a more meaningful relationship with his plant than her, in terms of wordage."_

"She died regretting not admitting her feelings," Rimmer pointed out.

"_Arnold, only you can keep him sane for as long as it'll take us to reach Earth," _Holly insisted, _"If you persist, I'll merge your consciousness with the old back up copy of your personality."_

"You wouldn't dare, you'd be killing me," Rimmer growled.

"_A Living crew member's life takes priority over a Hologram's, if you force me…" _Holly threatened.

"Fine, but just so you know, I'll make his life miserable," Rimmer stated then marched out of the room.

"_Good, that's just what I brought you back for,"_ Holly said quietly.

* * *

"What do you mean technically speaking?" Lister asked.

Rimmer walked in, having finally tracked down his former bunkmate, "Hello Lister, Long time, no see."

"Rimmer, you're a hologram?" Lister exclaimed.

"Yes, that's because I'm dead," Rimmer deadpanned, "Dead as a can of spam… And it's all thanks to you."

"Me?" Lister asked, "What did I do?"

"If you hadn't kept that ruddy cat, Lister, you would have been around to help mend the Drive Plates," Rimmer replied forcefully, "One of your only redeeming qualities is your ability to jury rig a solution to damn near anything."

"Hey, hey, hey. I didn't do anything," Lister argued, "It was _You_ who didn't fix the Drive Plates properly!"

Lister actually shrunk away from Rimmer's glare, "Did Holly tell you that?" he asked in a dangerously calm voice.

"Well… No," Lister admitted, "But who else could it be?"

"Y-Shift," Rimmer answered angrily, "I was off rotation to take an exam, while you were in stasis."

"Oh, smeg, I'm sorry man," Lister said, apologetically.

Rimmer just glared and walked out.

"Rimmer?" Lister tried, "Wait… Rimmer?" but Rimmer was gone, "Smeg!" Lister swore and ran out after him.


End file.
